Why Worrying Feels Productive—But Isn't
If only worrying about something actually made us prevent the thing we are worried about!
Worrying is our brain's default mechanism to make us feel like we are being productive at the task or situation at hand. The irony? We don’t actually have to do anything to start the task and decrease our worry.
In this post, we’re going to talk about why worrying isn’t preventive and how to shift your mindset to start worrying a little less, by taking action in achieving your goals.
Worrying Is a Trade-Off
We experience negative feelings of worry now because we put in no effort to do anything about it since the work makes us feel really uncomfortable. Thus, making us worry even more when the time comes to complete the task.
V.S.
Negative feelings when completing the task. You could still have negative feelings and low energy while doing something hard, the potential of trying might pay off or maybe it won’t, but you’ll feel less worried because at least you tried to complete your task.
Examples of Worry vs. Action
Worrying about an upcoming exam, but not doing anything new to change up your study plan is not preventative.
Worrying about figuring out your future career plans, but doing nothing to actually get some ideas going or see what's out there is not preventative.
Worrying about not "finding your people" but doing nothing to actually go find new situations to potentially find those people is not preventative
It’s much easier to worry than to do the hard things.
It’s much easier to worry than to do the hard things.
A Mindset Shift: Questions to Ask Yourself as a Worried College Student
This is what I teach my college clients regularly (which helps me re-teach myself as a parent as I worry about my kids):
What can I control now?
What will I be able to control in the future, if the thing I'm worried about actually happens?
What is worrying prompting me to do now? Procrastinate? Is this helpful?
Worrying is normal, it’s just not as productive as actually focusing on what we can control now (even 1 or 2 small things!), and our power to figure things out later.
If your worried college student (or someone you know!) would benefit from college success coaching next semester, you can click here to schedule a call, and we can talk more. I have a few spots opening up for the spring, and eager to get students going in January with a working schedule, semester goals mapped out, and career conversations going with a look ahead to summer planning!
What do you do to combat worrying during the semester? Comment below!
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